The Shack and Baby Update

I've taken a break from TWILIGHT and am reading THE SHACK, which I've wanted to read for quite a while now. I highly recommend it. I believe that we have been taught to put God in a box and when we or at least when I tried to access Him from that place, He sometimes seemed very distant to me. For the past couple of years I've been doing a lot of spiritual work and the main thing that set me upon that journey was my own thinking that God was bigger and more available than what years of churchgoing had taught me. I've done a lot of reading in the past couple of years about God and spirituality. I've wanted very badly to discuss some of what I've come to believe here in my journal. I've not done that and I don't know why. I've decided though, that I'm going to do it off and on here. I do not mean to offend anyone. I believe that one's relationship to God is a very personal one and no one has the right to tell anyone that their way to God is the wrong way. I don't like the word religion. I was raised in a Christian home and was in church at least three times a week. My brother is a minister. We often disagree on theology. That's okay. Like I said there are many paths. I can only speak of my own. I feel closer to God now than I ever have in my life. I don't feel like a religious person. I do, however, feel like a very spiritual person. God is bigger than we give Him credit for. He loves me and I believe He has orchestrated the journey I've been on every step of the way. I trust that. I will be working on explaining how I've come to this place in my journey. It's hard to explain sometime and I so don't want to hinder anyone else on their path. Just as each of our children are different and have their own special needs, talents, and perceptions, all of us as God's children are different. He allows us our differences and I believe He delights in those differences. I didn't always feel that way. I was taught a more narrow view.

I would love to hear all of your opinions and views regarding God and the spiritual path. I'm not so interested in what religion you consider yourself, I want to hear how you view God and yourself in relation to Him.

The one thing that I've known about myself since I was very small is that I was born to be a mother. I didn't realize, however, that being a mother would give me the spiritual insight that it has given me. My role as mother has opened my eyes to how dearly God must love us. That, has made all the difference in my life. I am working on an entry to explain that further. If this topic doesn't interest you that's fine. Just skip those entries. I need to put into words for myself my journey thus far. I welcome hearing about yours as well.




(Mandevilla plant from my yard last year) I can't wait to see if it survived the winter in the basement. Stay tuned!

I went with Sarah and Bennie yesterday for her 20 week ultrasound. Oh my gosh! Brooks was sucking his thumb and putting his fingers in his ears! All looks perfect and he's growing exactly the way he's supposed to. Seeing him sucking his thumb and yawning makes him so much more real! There really is a baby in there and he's going to be coming into our family!!! I fall more in love with him everyday and can't wait to nuzzle that little sweet neck. Can you believe that she's half way through her pregnancy already? Twenty more weeks and he's here! I. Can't. Wait!!!

Food for the Gray Matter

I have to work today so not much time to do a real entry so here is my meager offering:

I am a quote junkie. I usually pick one or two and roll them over and over in my mind all week. This is the one that I've been pondering all week and thought I'd share it. It's funny how sometimes one little sentence can strip away all the nonsense and just say what we need to hear. I think this is just such a thing. Don't let the best of you die inside.

“Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.”

Norman Cousins

This and That

It's another work night tonight and I've been up since 8:30 am thanks to the crew working on the street right in front of my house. Thanks guys! Sarah Kate came over at 1:00 yesterday afternoon and woke me up to go with her to buy maternity clothes. So after being up for 24 hours straight by the time I got in bed after work yesterday morning, I got about 3 1/2 hours of sleep yesterday. I finally fell asleep about 1:00 this morning and was hoping to sleep until at least noon today before going back in to work this afternoon. Guess that's a moot point now since it's after 10:30 am now. Oh well, how often does a woman get to go with her daughter to shop for maternity clothes. I'll stop whining now.

AUSTIN'S SCHOOL PROJECT:
Austin's class is doing a "Living Wax Museum" of famous Kentucky people. Of course all the fun ones like Abraham Lincoln and Daniel Boone were taken. Guess who he picked? Michael Waltrip. I do know that Michael Waltrip is a famous race care driver, but I had no idea he was from Kentucky. They have to give an oral history of their character and dress like them. Children from other classes will come into their "museum" and walk around and read the written display (he has to make this) and when they touch his finger he is to be a talking wax figure and give his oral presentation. It must be memorized. He's less than thrilled by this. I can't say as I blame him. I'm stumped when it comes to creativity for this particular project. So, my dear friends, we're asking for ideas. If you can think of anything to spur our imaginations regarding Michael Waltrip, we'd love, love, love to hear it. What can we use to improvise a race car driver outfit? Do you know any interesting trivia about Michael Waltrip? Any and all ideas welcome!

REGARDING YESTERDAY'S TWILIGHT ENTRY:
I have so enjoyed all of your comments about the book TWILIGHT. I was talking to Cinnamon (whose book I am borrowing) at work Tuesday night about it and now she tells me that the first book is really just more of a set up for books two, three and four. She then tells me that it's really all about books three and four. I mean, really, this girl is sooo passionate about these books that it just makes me so curious. What if I give up and I really would love books three and four? So, I've decided that I'm absolutely going to finish this first one. If it turns out better than I'm expecting, I will attempt book two. If not, I'm diving in to my pile of books to be read with no regrets. Thank you so much for all of your comments and opinions. I love hearing what everyone thinks. Isn't it fun that everyone is so different. What a boring world it would be if we were all cut from the same cloth. I also loved the book recommendations that some of you made. I've written them down and will add them to my list. In fact, if anyone didn't make a recommendation and you'd like to please tell me your favorite books.

I don't get it!

I'm late to this particular party and I'm having a problem getting in the "party mood". It seems you can't go anywhere for the past six months or so and not hear about how wonderful TWILIGHT is. Really, it seem that anyone who reads anything has read or is reading TWILIGHT. I love love love to read and should seriously consider a 12 step program for out of control book buyers, but this one is just not doing it for me. First of all it's about a vampire. I've never been into science fiction and books about vampires smack of science fiction to me. I decided this is one book series trend I was going to sit out. I was fine with that decision, truly. But my friends just wouldn't hear of it. Everyone kept telling me, "You just HAVE to read it!". So, okay, curiosity finally got the best of me and my friend, Cinnamon, at work lent me her copy. I've had this book now for over a month and I've picked it up about 5 times and have finally make it to page 148 of 498.

I can see why young girls might like this book. It's very highschoolish to me. I'm determined to get through it now and keep waiting for that "oh my gosh, this is soooo good" feeling to overtake me and keep me up reading when I should be sleeping. I don't see it happening though. I won't watch the movie until I've finished reading the book. In the meantime I have a huge pile of delicious books screaming at me to read them but I know that if I give in to that temptation I will never finish TWILIGHT.

So, what do you all think of this book? Am I the only one that doesn't think this book is the best thing since sliced bread?

Empty Nest

Patrick and Amber are house hunting in preparation for their marriage in October. I am thrilled that Patrick has chosen Amber. I couldn't love her more if she were my own flesh and blood daughter. I look forward to their wedding and watching them begin their life together.

It's funny, when your kids are little you just kind of imagine that they are always going to be around. Somehow, I forgot to factor in that kids grow up and LEAVE YOU!!! I didn't have kids for them to grow up and LEAVE ME! Now, don't worry, I'm saying this with a smile on my face. I didn't REALLY think that they'd be with me forever. But darn it, I wish they could be. Remember the 1980's show DALLAS? They all lived together with Jock and Miss Ellie, and I thought that was a wonderful idea. My dream is to win the lottery and build a family compound. It would have a pool, a tennis court, a horse barn and arena, a park and right in the middle of it would be a great big house with a huge kitchen and family room. Each child would have their own wing with their own kitchen and family room for when they needed to be alone. And right there in the middle of it all would be Grandma (me!) available for babysitting and chats over coffee. I know, I know, I've always been accused of being a Pollyanna, but darn it, I think it would work!

Emily has been living in Florida for several years and Sarah and Bennie have been married since 2005. Patrick was in Florida for college for two years and then lived here while he finished school closer to home. After college he got his own apartment. Austin was born while he was in Florida and he lamented the fact that he finally had the little brother he'd wanted his whole life and he wasn't getting to enjoy him. So, I told him it was silly for him to waste money on an apartment when we had two empty bedrooms sitting here. I pointed out that he'd have someone to do his laundry and cook for him if he moved back home and finally, the lure of his little brother brought him home to live again. I've been in heaven having him here. He's the son every mother wants. Everyone who knows him loves him. Quite simply, he's a joy to have around.

It's finally starting to really hit me that he is going to be leaving...like for good. He's going to have his own home. I'm thrilled for him, of course. I look forward to seeing him become a husband and father. It's as it should be and I know he's chosen the right partner. But man is it ever hard to imagine him not being here every day.

We won't really have an empty nest when he leaves. Austin is only ten years old and we have some real interesting years coming up with him (Lord, help me get through one more teenager!). But it's definitely going to be different around here. I stand by my statement that I didn't have kids for them to grow up and move away. I know a lot of people look forward to the day that their kids fly away from the nest. I'm not one of them. They'd better give me lots of grandchildren to make up for it!!!!

Hang in there with me while I work through my background drama! I'll decide sooner or later! I've wasted so much time fiddlin' with this today. So, PUZZLED seemed to fit for the moment. Who knows where it'll end up!

Another update: Beth like the Puzzle background, but this one is sooo me! We'll see how long it stays.

So much for the Geek Squad

I'm back on my little gem of a laptop, no thanks to the Geek Squad at that B B store.

My laptop had been acting a little funny for a couple of days prior to it going completely dark on me and my thinking was that it had something to do with the AC adaptor or the battery. Even when it was plugged in it was showing that it was on battery power. Then the other day it wouldn't even turn on. We quickly learned how easily we come to take things for granted! It was so frustrating! I had a busy work week and decided I could live without it until the weekend. NOT! So, before I went to work on Thursday I stopped by Best Buy with it and stood in line for what seemed hours to have them check out the AC adaptor and battery. The guy plugged it in to three different adaptors and the little light on the front still wouldn't light up. So he told me that it had to be the motherboard that was shot. He gave me the telephone number for HP and told me to call them and get a new one. I was disappointed, but resigned to the fact that this was not going to be a quick fix.

When I got back in my car I decided to call my brother and ask him what he thought of that diagnosis. He told me to take it to his friend who works at a computer store that also services computers and maybe he could sell me a motherboard cheaper than HP would. I had about 45 minutes before I had to be at work so I ran over there with my little sick laptop.

Ricky turned it over and took out every component: memory, CD drive, and other things that I don't even know the names for! He then put everything back in, plugged it in to a new HP adaptor and pushed the button to power it up. Eureka!!! Bells and whistles.....she powered up!
He said that Best Buy had probably used generic adaptors and that he'd used the HP adaptor that was specific to my computer. Total cost: $25.00. Ricky is my "Person of the Week"!!!

The lesson I learned is that the Geek Squad is not the last word in computer diagnostics.

(UH OH! I just tried to add a picture and it won't let me. I'm hoping that is a temporary blogger problem and not a computer problem.)

Technology...grrrrrr

I am currently experiencing computer problems.

The desktop (I am currently using to post this) is such a relic that the pictures aren't even showing up when I try to read your blogs (and I soo adore looking at pictures!). My laptop has suddenly refused to turn on; not sure if it's the actual computer or if it's the battery or adapter or both. Since a new computer is most definitely not in the budget for right now I'll muddle through with what is available at the moment.

I've asked the universe for a new computer...stand by!